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Cork Songs

Johnny Jump Up

I'll tell you a story that happened to me
One day, as I went down to Cork by the Lee
The sun, it was bright, and the day, it was warm
Thinks I, "A cold pint wouldn't do me no harm"

I went to the barman; I says, "Give me a stout!"
Says the barman, "I'm sorry: the beer is sold out
Try whiskey or vodka ten years in the wood"
Says I, "I'll try cider - I hear that it's good"

O never! O never! O never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
For I fell to the ground, and I couldn't get up
After drinking a pint of that Johnny Jump Up!

After lowering the third, I headed straight for the yard
Where I bumped into Brophy, the big civic guard
"Come here to me, boy - don't you know I'm the law?"
Well I up with my first, and I shattered his jaw

He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up
But it wasn't I hit him; 'twas the Johnny Jump up
The next thing I saw, down in Cork by the Lee
Was a cripple on crutches, and he beckoned to me

"I'm afraid for my life - I'll be hit by a car
Would you help me across to the Railwaymen's Bar?"
And, after three pints of that cider so sweet
He threw down his crutches, and he danced on his feet

Chorus

I went down the Lee Road a friend for to see
They had him in a madhouse in Cork by the Lee
And, when I got there - the truth I do tell -
They had the poor bugger locked up in a cell

Says the doctor to him, "Say these words, if you can
'Round the ragged rocks the ragged rascal ran' "
"Tell them I'm not crazy! Tell them I'm not mad
'Twas only six pints of that cider I had!"

Chorus

A man died in the Union by the name of McNabb
They washed him and laid him outside on a slab
And, after the coroner his measure did take
His wife brought him home to a bloody fine wake

'Twas about twelve o'clock, and the beer, it was high
When the corpse, he sat up, and he said, with a cry
I can't get to heaven, they won't let me up
'til I bring them a quart of the Johnny Jump up

Chorus